Frequently Asked Questions
Honey, you've got questions — and I've got answers.
Whether you're wondering about shipping, sizing, or if "Fuckity Fuck Fuck” is really on a coaster (spoiler: it is), this is the place.
❓ FAQ Sections & Answers
Do you print everything yourself?
Most of it? Yep. Shirts, caps, drinkware, souvenirs, and home goods — all designed, printed, and shipped right here by me.
But I'm not a one-person sweat factory — I've got a production partner (we call him Mad Scientist Tony) who helps run the machines. Don't worry, I can run 'em too when I have to. Don't think I can't!
Some specialty items come from trusted partners I've worked with for years — but if it's in this shop, it passed my hands, my eyes, and probably my sass test.
📦 How long does shipping take?
I usually ship within 3–5 business days — sometimes faster if Mad Scientist Tony is drinking Red Bull instead of Cherry Coke.
During busy times (like Pride and the winter holidays), it might take a day or two longer, but you'll always get tracking once it's on the move.
🎨 Do you do custom orders?
Hell yeah, we love 'em! Got an idea for a shirt, sticker, or something even sassier? Drop it in via the Contact page and let's talk. If it's bold, funny, or fabulously weird — I'm listening.
Okay, I'll even print it if it's boring. 🙄
➕ Do you have plus sizes?
Oh, honey, I'm a luscious and beautiful person, too, so you know I've got you when I can.
When available, I go all the way to 4X, and if I can get 5X, you better believe I add it, because 'It's roomy-as-hell' is a valid fashion choice.
Here's the damn caveat: the companies that make these luscious and beautiful sizes love to charge a premium — so don't get sticker shock at the price. I don't agree with it, but I haven't figured out how to make my own blank t-shirts yet!
🤣 What if I'm easily offended?
OMG — get out now! We ain't your shop.
Honey, I'm so damn proud to be queer, southern, and occasionally foul-mouthed. Sometimes I even run the press in my underwear at 2 am while yelling at Drew to bring me another Diet Pepsi.
If that makes you clutch your pearls, it's okay — you've got options. But if that made you laugh? You're home.
📏 What size should I get?
Most tees are unisex fit unless otherwise noted. I list size charts on product pages, but if you're between sizes, go up one for a roomier fit — especially if you love biscuits like I do.
What's your return policy?
Honey, listen — if you're unhappy, email me. I'll do everything I can to make it right. My grandma would roll over in her grave if she thought I made someone keep something they didn't love.
I'll be fair — but you've got to be fair too. If it's been 30 days and you're still unsure? That's on you, darling.
Now, custom orders are a different story. Because they're made just for you, I can't accept returns — but I highly recommend paying a little extra to get a physical proof shipped first. I'll keep the cost low and tell you upfront what it'll be.
And if you're local? We can meet at my office, and you can see it in person. That's how we do it here — bold, kind, and face-to-face when we can.
Where do you ship?
Honey, I just do U.S. shipping — I can’t deal with the international shipping drama.
I don’t have that much hair left, and I’m not about to pull out the last four strands because your coffee mug went missing in customs!
Maybe one day I’ll expand, if they invent a strong shampoo that grows my hair back and handles tracking numbers better.
Bonus Section:
Questions I Wasn’t Expecting (But Answered Anyway)
❓ How big is it? 😲
Lawd, child — you're on the wrong damn site! This ain’t Grindr. You just made me clutch my pearls.
...
Oh — you meant the mug?
It’s 15 ounces of attitude. Microwave and dishwasher safe, too.